


Hanging On

by Katie_Shum



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: AU, Carmilla is a bit wackado, F/F, Mental Illness, Werewolf Danny, blood everywhere, lawstein - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Shum/pseuds/Katie_Shum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla wakes up in a blood soaked bed, it's happened again. She's killed another person she professed to care for. Of course Danny comes to find her, but not all is what it seems with Carmilla, and Danny seems to know more than she should. </p><p>Her blood blooms on the sheets, like red rose blossoms are supporting her small pale body.<br/>The splotches swirl like tie-die, multicolored before my eyes, dripping off of my hands, and I laugh.<br/>It’s choked, short, and wheezes like there is smoke trapped in my lung. I knew it would happen eventually.<br/>It always did.<br/>I should have known better than to let her get too close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanging On

**Author's Note:**

> Work title from Hanging On by Ellie Goulding
> 
> The chapter title is Stealing Happiness by Gin Wigmore
> 
> I got this idea from a drabble that my significant other wrote, and this just kinda happened. I hope you like it. ;)

Her blood blooms on the sheets, like red rose blossoms are supporting her small pale body.  
The splotches swirl like tie-die, multicolored before my eyes, dripping off of my hands, and I laugh.  
It’s choked, short, and wheezes like there is smoke trapped in my lungs. I knew it would happen eventually.  
It always did.  
I should have known better than to let her get to close. 

The door opens, and an arm wraps around my shoulders. 

 

“Come on Carm. The damage is done.” The tone is soft, reassuring.

“Danny, I didn’t”…. mean to. The words don’t come out. 

“I know.” The taller woman tightens her arm that’s thrown over my shoulder. “Let’s go, okay?” She smiles at me, it’s nice. 

I stand with her help. I look down at my nude body. All I can see is blood. The life of that poor girl; it’s all over me, streaking my skin. I start to hyperventilate. Danny is there, smoothing my hair out of my face, making soothing noises. It helps. I can’t meet her eyes. I still can’t control my body. It’s forgotten that I don’t need to breathe. That I’m already dead. 

Gentle hands touch my face, “Hon, look at me.” 

I try to resist, I don’t want to feel better. My eyes flick up to meet her clear blue ones. My body pulls in fresh air that it doesn’t need and releases it in a sigh. Danny is so kind, so patient. She has never balked from me when this happens. I don’t know how she knows, but she is always there when I wake up. No matter how far I run, my friend finds me.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Danny’s eyes skim over my body; can she see what I see? A body smeared in the blood of one that I supposedly cared for? Does she even care what I’ve done? 

Thoughts race through my head. I start to shut down again. I’m not looking at her anymore.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” She tilts my face up gently, seeking contact. I let myself fall into her gaze. “I’m going to pick you up, yeah?” I nodded my head. 

She bent her tall frame down to pick me up and cradle me to her body as if I were a child. I turned my face and buried it into her red hair. Inhaling the scent that was solely Danny. She smelled like home, of forest and fire. I closed my eyes.

When I opened them I was laying on a leather couch, my head in Danny’s lap. Her slender fingers worked through my hair, the movement was gentle. I looked down at my body, I was clean. I was wearing one of Danny’s baseball tees and a pair of pajama shorts. I sighed. Danny’s eyes met mine and she smiled. 

“Are you with me?” I took a moment to consider her question. I looked around; the living room wasn’t hers. Thank God. Danny got me out of there. 

“Yeah, I’m with you.” Her smile faltered, it was quick. I would have missed it if I had blinked, strange. 

The tall woman bent down and placed a kiss upon my forehead. My head lolled back and I accepted her gesture, my eyes started to feel heavy again.

“Are you going to be okay if I go for a run? Uh.” She grabbed the back of her neck and rubbed it shyly. “I need to get some air, do you want me to pick up food or…” Her voice trailed off.

I felt horrible; I had been a shitty friend to her recently. I knew how the tall woman could get if she wasn’t able to run daily. I made to sit up; the world didn’t spin, so that’s a plus. 

I reached out to her, and she shied away from me. I felt my face pull into a frown. I let my hand fall. I cleared my throat.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about food. I doubt I’ll be able to eat anytime soon.” My words broke a little, but I plastered a grin onto my face. 

I watched her leave, she didn’t take her shoes. Maybe she was scared of me. Fuck. 

Danny POV

I felt like someone was squeezing my insides, that there was a hand in my chest that clenched my heart. It kept on until I was afraid that my insides would turn to dust. And I ran on regardless, I ran until I was safe from prying eyes, and then I ran some more. My bare feet went from cement to the soft pad of the earth to the forest. The trees seemed to bend and twist out of my path; I never stumbled, never faltered. I felt the pain in my chest, and I threw my head back and I howled. It was a broken and lonely thing. I curled in on myself and let the change take me. 

When I finally find the will to stand, there is movement in the brush. My muscles instantly tense; I lift my russet snout and scent the air for danger. Before I can even register the smell of lavender and the tang of copper, a body is crashing into mine. I roll out of the collision, my fur coat rolls like the ocean as it disappears and my human skin shows through. I throw myself onto my attacker, whole-heartedly not giving a fuck that I’m nude. I feel their lithe arms circle around my waist squeezing my insides. I look down into dark eyes, a smile. “You with me?” The words leave my mouth in a soft whisper.

She looks at me like I’m her whole world. “Yeah, I’m with you.” She rises up on her toes and kisses me. My hands slide into her dark hair, pulling her closer. 

“I missed you.” I press my lips to hers gently. I press my forehead to hers, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes. 

She smiles; it’s a sad smile. “I’m sorry.” She moves her hands to my face, and brushes my long hair out of my eyes. She whispers her love for me over and over, kissing me softly. I kiss her harder, and the kiss evolves, I bite at her lips begging entrance, I slip my tongue into her mouth. Twisting in-between her fangs. The darker haired woman lets out a moan, it makes my body shake. Moving my hands from her hair I place them onto her waist, lifting her. A bubble of laughter leaves her throat and escapes from her mouth. She wraps her legs around my waist and drapes her arms over my shoulders as I lower us into a sitting position. The woman in my lap whined and wiggled her hips. 

“I don’t wanna talk, right now.” The words came out in whine. She curled her legs up, placing her chin on her knees, and pouted. The big bad vampire was curled into a ball and pouting. 

I couldn’t help it as I laughed, it was one of those laughs that makes you throw your head back. “How did you know I was out here anyway? You were checked out.” The words held a humorous tone despite the severity of the question. 

Her eyes rose to meet mine, and a small smile graced her features, pulling them into something soft. “I heard you, I always hear you. It’s not like she was going to come and make sure you’re okay.” As the last words left her mouth her face twisted into something resembling disdain. 

“You can’t blame her for everything.” The words were soft, this was a sore spot for her.

“She fucking loves you too. All I want is to be able to be with you, and she’s stopping me. Of course I killed her little girl crush. She wasn’t you and I will do it again and again if I have too. Carmilla was just settling because she’s afraid of everything, she even got rid of her feelings for you. But my favors do not sway so easily. I love you, and I hate her. It makes me take things from her. Why should she be happy when we aren’t?” My lover was furious, Carmilla made her do crazy illogical things. Her face was once again set in anger, her sharp cheekbones were prominent, her face was flushed with stolen blood.

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. These moments of clarity for her had never been frequent, I treasured them. I made soothing noises and nuzzled my face along her cheek, scenting her.

She let out a sigh, “I’m still mad you know.” She pulled back enough to look into my eyes, “How naïve can she be? Your eyes are wonderful, have I told you that recently? Even she knows it.” She started to grumble nonsense. 

I dropped a kiss in to her nose, “For some coldblooded monster you, sure do grumble a lot.” I winked at her.

“Ugh. You wouldn’t find this so humorous if I ever try to eat you.” She waved her arms wildly, trying to make her point. 

“Oh, please do.” My face pulled into a quizzical one, I tapped my finger against my chin. “Oh, wait you tend to do that regularly-“

Before I could finish my response, she was pushing my hair out of the way and her mouth clamped onto my neck warm and wet, then she let her teeth sink in. Pleasure coursed through my body, and I wrapped my arms loosely around her.

She pulled away, “Is this okay? You asked for it, but-“ and I nodded at her. Gently she sunk her fangs back in and I grasped at the hem of her sweater, tugging it up just enough to slip a hand underneath.

She pulled away and her eyes were dark.

“I love you,” she said seriously, staring into my eyes, before taking my hand and lowering me onto the ground.

“And I love you, every single piece.”

She pouted and started to grumble, crossing her arms. Pointedly not looking at me. I strained my ears and could make out small snippits. “hate…grumble grumble…stupid curse….grumble.”

I reached out to unfold her arms and hold her hand. I looked down at her small hand in between my larger ones. A smile played at my lips. 

“We will figure this out. I promise.” We have to. 

She let out a sigh. “I just want you to be happy, and occasionally kill stuff. Is that too much to ask for?” God she was beautiful.

“Kit, you know that I love all of you from the murderous bits to the teeny-tiny bits that are scared.” I squeezed her hand. “I love you, all off you, both of you. Carmilla can’t help it. You know she can’t. I’ll talk to her okay? But I think it’s time we tell her everything. You can shoot a video or write a letter or whatever floats your boat, but we need to do this. It would also help her if you stopped murdering everyone she sleeps with graphically and leaving her with the mess.” 

A growl slipped between Carmilla’s lips. “It’s my body too! Not just hers. If she keeps spreading it around, I’m going to keep killing them. Laura was obnoxious anyway.” She flipped her hair. “I’m serious Danny. I love you, be honest. It fucking wrecks you when she does it. Because you know that we love you, and she’s just too chicken shit to admit it. We loved you before this whole thing started. Carmilla is full of it, she pretends that she doesn’t know about me but she does… Because we are the same person!” Carmilla’s face was red, and she was struggling to breathe, she was furious. 

It wouldn’t do any good to talk about this any more, but I would be talking to the other Carmilla when she came back. It’s time that we figured out a way to get rid of this bullshit curse. 

I opened my mouth to respond, but she beat me to it. “Can we just stay here, like this for a bit? I don’t want to think about this anymore. I just want to spend my time with you beneath these stars.” Her face was young and innocent in a way that usually belonged to her counterpart. Vulnerable, that was the word I was looking for. 

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! And if you want to see this continue. I have been toying with the idea of a dual personality Carmilla for a while, I hope this wasn't ridiculously confusing!


End file.
